Can we all care just a little more?

Do you understand when a person with autism is being badly behaved that they have no control over these impulsive actions?

I was having a hard time yesterday because of pressure in the atmosphere.  Headache and body aches galore.

Always asking kindly about what is happening is so helpful.

We went out for my favourite breakfast.  Being a harder body day I stalled until a time that is usually empty.  Am moving, just slowly hoping to avoid a crowd.

Well, that didn’t work.  It is fall and everyone and their aunt was out to see the leaves or hike.  The place was full full full.  So now add on the sensory input and emotions input of the crowd.  A wee bit on edge I was.

To deal I requested headphones and iPad.  I have been working hard on not relying on iPad and being present at breakfast talking with family, but knew it wasn’t a day to work on that.  And guess what?  The WiFi didn’t want to work.  Yes, you read that correctly.

So, my body starts to scream and mush Mommy and yell!  Can you see the whole picture?

All I want is to be good sitting with family eating and chatting, but the cards are stacked against me.

Now add the reactions of the other diners.  While no one said anything I could feel them start to judge and be annoyed.

If only they could understand how I wish to absolutely be an ideal patron.  Or all have one moment where they have no body control.  Then maybe they could muster compassion and caring, and discover love and acceptance as demonstrated by my parents.

I always am my own worst critic, I don’t need their help.  I’ve got that covered.

Jordyn

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8 thoughts on “Can we all care just a little more?

  1. Aunty Sarah

    J-bomb!
    I hear you, I feel you and I respectfully request that you be as kind and patient with YOU, as you are with the rest of us flawed humans who love you.
    Some days, (and it’s not easy), you’ve also got to let people live their own drama and understand that whatever someone thinks/feels/judges about you..is none of your business. It’s all about them and their own ‘stuff’… the good ones- they’d just send you empathetic vibes.
    I love you. And never never never be worried about the impression you make on a bad day – we ALL have them, kiddo.

    Ps- I would desperately like to be the aunt you mention out hiking and looking at leaves – soon enough. ❤❤❤

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Wendy Edwards

    I hope you will consider NOT being your own worst critic. So your body gets out of control? So what!b You can’t manage it yet, maybe someday there will be a way to do that. But remember – there are people out there who don’t manage their feelings, words, actions and they CAN control it. They just choose not to. And for some reason it certainly seems that they are not critical of themselves. They blame and judge others instead. So you dear man, you don’t have to be critical of yourself. It serves no purpose. Others will always judge. We can’t stop that. but we can love ourselves exactly where we are. Do that. Put some big love on YOU!!! I can’t think of anyone you should be loving more!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. crocker42

    Dear Jordyn, I am well acquainted with self judgement in the negative form. It is hell. I am so sorry you had a hard time at a dinner you were hoping to be good. I so agree with what auntie Sarah and Wendy say. They both said some very wise things. Be kind to yourself. I used to think it would be good, when driving, to have, as well as light flashes to indicate you are slowing down, flashes of “Oops,,,,,,,,sorry”, when I cut someone off by mistake or something like that. . I thought that might reduce road rage, although I doubt it would have helped much. People are going to get mad no matter what. However, would it help you to have a sign to flash,? saying, “Sorry, I’m having a bad day, I don’t mean to annoy. I would like to be an absolutely ideal patron.”? You don’t owe them any explanation, but if you would like to tell them that, why shouldn’t you? Maybe some could muster some compassion. I love you Jordyn, and there are probably a lot of those people out there who have experience with difficulty in body control. And maybe more are understanding than you think. Because of your blog, I know I am, and thank you for that!!
    Love, Mimi

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think that this change of seasons has been really hard on several of the kids we see. Very dysregulated bodies today and each time, I saw that they felt terrible about their dysregulated body. Your message is so important!

    Like

    1. EV,

      I think it is more than the arrival of fall. I feel the moon, meteors flying by planet, wildfires, earthquakes, floods, and the tension caused by fear (of Trump’s ability to execute bad policies, all because he is fearful).

      Like

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