My mommy worries too much

I am worried about how much my mommy worries about everything and everyone.

I am committed to helping her chill out.

A beautiful soul and woman is allowing the weight of everyone to dampen her light and angelic nature.

I hope she can continue to discover her true power which comes from love rather than abdicating 100% responsibility of others to handle their own stuff.

I am being very honest here.  I need 100% support here to help mommy.  She needs to prioritize her needs and doesn’t know how.

You need to make sure you are empowering her to take care of herself.  The consequences impact me and my ability to be productive and regulated.

So, I am boldly requesting your assistance.  Do not bring your drama into our space.
Only calming and fun anecdotes.  You only are 100% responsible for your life.

Every time you allow her to be roped into your drama, you shut down her ability to create her future and mine.

You have all the power to make a difference.

Thank you for your help,
Jordyn

With just belief you can alter a child’s future

To presume competence means to love generously and to believe they are capable of anything, despite a child’s diagnosis.

You belief is the most powerful tool for creating an environment of ability.

I am blessed to have parents who would not listen to each professional who tried to dampen their resolve that I would be able to fully express myself.

Each time someone said no they took their business elsewhere.  Each time someone tried to dampen their belief they got stronger in that belief.

My environment is set up for only success.  I am both able to be productive and comfortable in an environment that allows for what my body needs.

I am an example of what can happen when belief creates each action you take to support what you dream is possible.

Only you create your beliefs, so 100% have the guts to dream big.  Then take actions that only support the fulfillment of that dream.

The days of buying into the beliefs of others are over.

With belief in you,

Jordyn

I love so fully, I ache when others feel pain

No one knows the pain I feel for others.  When someone I love is hurting emotionally, physically or spiritually, even if they live far away, I hurt with them.

I love deeply and with all my heart.

Only a few people can understand how this feels.  One is my poor dog Nelson who feels so deeply too.  No wonder we were put together.  He manifested a large spleen like mine. You may think I’m making this up but his vet believes me.

It is a challenge not to take on other’s pain.  I use my crystals to help me 100% of the time.  However, people I love deeply aren’t 100% blocked.

My nature is to help so I take what pain I can.  Only I can’t 100% take it all.  I am fortunate to have a partner in Nelson.  He is a wonderful being.

Who knew when we were matched that this is one way he would help me.

Maybe all service dogs for autism are like Nelson, but I choose to believe he is special.

Jordyn

Every time I feel better, I get unwell again

Jordyn loves being productive, but it is so hard when Rocky (my uncontrollable body) is being uncooperative.

Friday I got so much accomplished and felt amazing.  Today I feel like crap and it is taking everything for me to point accurately on my laminate letter board.

I hope by sharing this you may understand that 45% of the time I am not able to really be 100% in control of my body.

I, with the help of mommy, am working on increasing time I am purposeful as more control is built every time I do purposeful things.

Just wish the moment didn’t keep getting stopped by my silly energy fluctuations.

Please remember I am one boy with autism and liver disease, and this doesn’t mean everyone with autism has these issues.  However, I’m willing to bet that everyone has their own version of what I’ve described.  How I don’t have depression is by being happy with every piece of me.

Jordyn

{Note:  Jordyn requested the featured photo (as he is in charge of everything on this blog) – “How about a happy pic of me in hospital please”.  This pic is from a hospital stay in September 2016, he is currently home}

I am an impulsive mess

I am having a hard week controlling my body and impulses.  I have been limiting working with mommy because I don’t want to hurt her.

My stomach is very sore and wiggly due to the parasites I live with.  I want them all gone.

Because of my liver* I think it is hard for mommy and doctors to know how to help me without hurting me.  Only I want a parasite free life.

You may not understand what this feels like, but trust me it really impacts my ability to control myself.

If you have ideas that we could run by the liver doctors I would appreciate you sending them.

I hope by next week, after the New Moon is over and I’ve had a BIE session, I will feel better.

Jordyn

*Jordyn is referring to his advanced cirrhosis, portal hypertension and an enlarged spleen resulting from Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency

Not able to be fully here

My mommy went out of town this weekend to learn how to better help me and other non-speakers to communication with spelling on letter boards.

Both when she goes away short or long periods of time, I feel less grounded to my body.  I have no anchor.

Do you ever feel like you are not connected to your body?
You may experience this when you are falling asleep or meditating.

Can you imaging that feeling for days?
Can feeling that do one good for extended periods of time when wanting to interact with the world?

Would you be able to function 100% if you were not in control of your body?

Only when mommy is here do I feel in my body.

I know she is away doing good 100%, but for me to be here 100% I need my rock.

Jordyn

I am totally caring and too sensitive

In front of my Poppy’s residence I feel all the emotions of the residents.  They range from only sadness to mild depression with some happiness and excitement mixed in.

I just want to run through the halls gleefully to being more happiness to the place.

Yet, I know that it is only temporary.  I can bring a smile for a brief time before despondent ways of thinking creep back in.

How can I help these caring people with having a purpose?  Having a purpose helps people feel fulfilled and useful.

I want to do a talk for them, to give them ideas about how they could contribute to people by sharing their wisdom and life stories.

No one should have to be alone and afraid like some of them are.  I want them to know I value their wisdom and life.

I think mom and I could really help them.  I will create a project around this.

“No dear souls left unloved” sounds like a good name.

I can’t wait to get started.

Jordyn

Just happy to feel better

As you know, I have been feeling quite tired.

After exhausting conventional allopathic medicine to fix me and supporting me with naturopathic treatments, Mommy requested support from Dr. Michael Roth.

Dr. Roth talks to Mommy and I, then uses muscle testing to figure out what is wrong.
Then he uses his gift and thanks the creator and asks for healing energy.

During and after our session I could feel the connection to him and spirit energy.  I went from 60% energy to 95% energy over 2 days.

My mommy was so thankful for answers that aligned with what we suspected to be the cause of the exhaustion.

This is not the first time Dr. Roth has made a significant difference for Mom & I, and it won’t be the last.

Gratefully,
Jordyn

Just help me be full of energy please

I have been feeling increasingly tired I had anesthesia on February 3rd.

No one is able to explain why this is happening.

My liver is not working properly.  I have a disease called Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency (causing liver cirrhosis, portal hypertension, and an enlarged spleen) plus I have methylation issues as part of medical factors attributed to autism.

Having pain in my stomach last Tuesday had us go to emergency at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto.  After ruling out the logical explanation for my symptoms, we were admitted and the search for answers began.  No good explanation was found by my team of doctors.  They were very thorough, interested in all I had to say to help them, and nice.  However, sent me home with all normal (for me) test results.

We will follow up with my regular liver doctor next week.

Not having answers or a plan sucks.  I just want my energy back.  In the meantime, I am budgeting my energy so I can accomplish things in my day and relying a lot on my impulsive calming stims to take care of myself.

Jordyn

My girlfriend

I asked my friend Evie if I could call her my girlfriend last night.  She said yes.

I love how full of love and joy she is, and pretty too.

We talk once a week over Skype.  She lives in Australia.

My mom and her mom help us to speak with each other with your letterboards.

I am happy.  I want to be loved and to love.  We share stuff we only feel comfortable sharing with each other.

Jordyn