Can we all care just a little more?

Do you understand when a person with autism is being badly behaved that they have no control over these impulsive actions?

I was having a hard time yesterday because of pressure in the atmosphere.  Headache and body aches galore.

Always asking kindly about what is happening is so helpful.

We went out for my favourite breakfast.  Being a harder body day I stalled until a time that is usually empty.  Am moving, just slowly hoping to avoid a crowd.

Well, that didn’t work.  It is fall and everyone and their aunt was out to see the leaves or hike.  The place was full full full.  So now add on the sensory input and emotions input of the crowd.  A wee bit on edge I was.

To deal I requested headphones and iPad.  I have been working hard on not relying on iPad and being present at breakfast talking with family, but knew it wasn’t a day to work on that.  And guess what?  The WiFi didn’t want to work.  Yes, you read that correctly.

So, my body starts to scream and mush Mommy and yell!  Can you see the whole picture?

All I want is to be good sitting with family eating and chatting, but the cards are stacked against me.

Now add the reactions of the other diners.  While no one said anything I could feel them start to judge and be annoyed.

If only they could understand how I wish to absolutely be an ideal patron.  Or all have one moment where they have no body control.  Then maybe they could muster compassion and caring, and discover love and acceptance as demonstrated by my parents.

I always am my own worst critic, I don’t need their help.  I’ve got that covered.

Jordyn

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Can being an angel be real?

Again, just suspend your disbelief as I share my experience of life.

Do all humans age and die?  I’m living in an aging body that is experiencing many changes right now.  Totally hormone based and frankly annoying.  Being stuck in this sea of annoying and uncontrollable emotion surges is like being and doing basically just my walking version of a chemical based biological 100% angelic boy, and pretty much feeling hopeful it is over soon.

Wishing I could skip this part of the human, joyfully growing up, experience.

How do people deal with this junk messing with them?  Always being erratic and reactive is not my favourite.

A divine being is calm, wise, and collected.  Can’t always be beautifully angelic when my body is a slave to hormone surges.  This really sucks.

To 100% believe I am an angel in human form, people expect serenity, joy, and beauty.  Instead I am not always serene or happy, and now I have acne!

Being angelic,

Jordyn

Do bad people always behave in terrible very wrong ways?

All last night I had such a hard time sleeping.  Being a caring and sensitive soul, I could feel the pain of the victims in Edmonton and Las Vegas.

I am totally at a loss of words to describe their emotions.  All came so quickly and powerfully over me.

Do bad people not have another outlet for their anger?

Totally was overwhelmed with the flood of anguish and felt sick to my stomach all night.  Always caring Mommy helped me stay grounded and snuggled me all night.

Basically, just could not block the waves of distraught and shock from effecting me.  To be clear this is not a reaction to being told of these horrendous acts, this is me feeling them as they happen.

I do my very best to always protect myself with crystals, but I don’t think any crystal would have been enough.  There is a different feel to events like last night, where single humans be filled with such rage and act it out on innocent people.  I am always effected by worldly tragedy, however this type of senseless violence has a flavour all its own.

When will humanity learn that love is the answer?

Jordyn

Can Angels exist on Earth?

Just bear with me.  I am feeling ready to share more fully about my mission and myself.  In the process I hope you will suspend your disbelief and be open to what I am sharing.  Just be a normal person interested in my experience of life.

Ok, here goes nothing!

Everyday I feel the whole world 100%.

I feel all the hurricanes, the earthquakes, the floods, the tension owing to the uncertainty of Trump as U.S. President, and all the lives beginning and ending each day.

My sensory system is far from “normal!”

Can you even fathom feeling just your family’s feelings?  I feel theirs and anyone’s within just about a minimum distance of under 100 educated people (people open to energy).  Each person can always block me by shutting themselves to just and basically divine energy.

Always and forever,

Jordyn

Man is one species

On Wednesday last week I experienced calm only when dealing with being told I should be leashed.

100% Mommy did not remain calm.

Mommy was so angry.  Doing everything in her power to be calm.  I totally get her anger! Being bigger people we let it go.  Took more effort for Mommy than me.

Basically, totally not worth being angry because only affects our day.  There will always be uneducated people who don’t understand autism in its many forms.

I trust that soon there will be a shift in how we, with motor cortex and sensory differences, are viewed.  100% intelligent and compassionate joy-filled humans here to wake up the numb and entitled to a world of inclusion and 100% acceptance of all human differences.

Jordyn

{Picture:  me happy in the river}

Having a hard body week

Do you ever wonder what it feels like to do things you don’t want to do only because your body reacts to absolutely everything?  Probably only families and therapists of people like me have.

Not knowing what it is like to be fully in control, I may not be able to describe it in a way that you could fully get, but I will do my best to give you a glimpse.

Many people think that people with autism are absolutely just misbehaving.  I wish I had the control to willfully think of what I wanted to do and execute it.  Only with the greatest of occasional unassisted purposefulness can I make a little mischief intentionally.  Just allowing myself to dream of the funny things I would do is all I get.

Allowing a fully capable dangerous autistic to dream of tricks would make a great guide for misbehaving kids.  I bet our ideas are brilliantly thought out.

Being a slave to impulse is much like being on a diet then wondering how that forkful of calorie and sugar filled cake ended up in your mouth.  Except you do have an ability to stop, rationalize, and not have a bite.  We eat the cake like it is the last meal we will ever have, 100% joyfully and impulsively.

Jordyn 100%

I love my Mommy

There is only one Mommy.  Good-hearted, fabulously genuine, and always loving.

My mommy just makes people feel loved and heard 100% by just being herself, no tricks or gimmicks needed.

Because she is my rock 100% I notice how different I feel when she isn’t here with me. Just not as grounded and able to control my body.  Do you ever feel eager to always feel your body?  Joyfully, when Mommy is a good pressure-free listener I feel so absolutely in my body and able to 100% express anything I need, or want, to.

How can I develop this feeling without needing her, that is the trick?  Just having Nelson helps a lot.  100% joyfully being a dog’s boy.

Being a cool mommy, she helped me find an absolutely wonderful dog named Rocky who will be part of our family now.  He is pure of heart, but still a little nervous in his new angelic home.  Yes he is named Rocky, you read that right.  Really perfect somehow!

Love and fully Jordyn,

Jordyn

{Featured image, waking up camping.  Below, Rocky the Dog}

How do I be a good human?

I think about this a lot.  Too much of me is angelic to sometimes be a good human.

“What do I mean by this?” you might be thinking.  Well, I believe we are all angels with varying degrees of how in touch we are with the angel inside.  I believe that a lot of autistics are more in touch with their angelicness.

Having a diverse sensory system has been a blessing and allows me to experience things you may not.  So just because you don’t experience what I experience, don’t discount it as possible.

Joyfully damaged is one way I describe myself.  I would not want to be any other way. Well, there are moments I do think “Damn my crazy out of control body”, but that is only human.

Dancing with my crazy body is 100% a chore.  I am limited to what I can and can’t do, sure.  However, I would not want to give up how I perceive things for a body that behaves or a mouth that speaks purposefully.  Far be it from me to waste my energy with wishing for another body.  I would rather use that energy to further my ability to control the body I have.

Sometimes being me means being misunderstood.  People see me toe walking, jumping and running, screaming or being loud, watching little kid videos or playing repeat what I say with mommy, etcetera, and they see a boy being badly behaved or a less than normal boy.  They don’t see me.

The caring listener, loyal friend, joy-filled non-speaker, giving and intelligent human.

Perception guides how we interact, but what if all 100% humans could drop their learned filters and see each other for who they truly are.  What kind of planet would we live on then?

Jordyn

Backing up to the beginning…

I am being asked lately to advise families who are about to embark on a magical journey with Spelling to Communicate.

I am passionate about one thing – ENJOY!  I have learned that attitude is 95% of success.  What I mean by this is when you are beginning this process of 100% teaching the motor cortex to point accurately you want to maintain a regulated and focused body.  Who learns anything when they are under pressure to perform?  Only when the parasympathetic nervous system is in power do we learn the most effectively.

Being someone who has lived through pressure – Mommy struggled a lot after our visit with Soma and put pressure on herself and me – I can say that everything changed when Mommy focused on connecting and learning together (Thank you EV!).

My best times learning were not totally structured, but reading a story and answering known questions (answer was in the text read).  I know this is not maybe how others would best learn, but for me it was the best move Mommy could have made.  She included the skill building motor practice in a totally relaxed and fun activity.

Some may bock at deviating from structured lessons saying instructions from professionals must be followed exactly for success.  However,  I disagree.  Allowing yourselves to be together without pressure is the ticket.

Please enjoy this building of a beautiful communication partnership.

Yours playfully,

Jordyn

{pictured:  Jordyn with his “truest” friend, Julie Sando, playfully building a communication partnership} 

Camp is so cool!

I am so glad to have experienced camp at Holland Bloorview Kids Rehabilitation Hospital with Isaiah.  Spiral Garden art and music camp is a place of possibility and acceptance.

Iz and I had so much fun making collaborative woodworking butterfly, contributing to the magic flying machine and magic garbage truck, and fun with clay.

My favourite was clay.  All so earthen and grounding.

All activities were great for purposeful motor practice.  I loved it all.  Can’t wait for next year.

Purposefully,

Jordyn