I am glad to be back writing again. I have had quite a year.
I am sorry for being silent so long, and with what this body has to deal with and manage in order to be in communication effectively, you will not blame me.
Caring so much to make a difference for others, it was hard for me to get clear about what boundaries and limits I needed to set for myself. It has been over a year of creating more recharge time and less and less output time. Getting my priorities straight has been quite an exercise with the moving target of energy reserves I have been dealing with. I have never been good at prioritizing me. My default has been to give of myself and my energy to a fault resulting in a depletion of myself in so many ways.
The change in the emotional soup of the planet took quite a toll on me. Swimming through the thick muck of fear, hate, and anger was draining in a way too hard to articulate eloquently right now. So let’s just put a pin in that and say it sucked big time. I will take a stab at sharing my experience when I have a bit more energy.
I honestly believe it took such a toll on me physically, that my liver could no longer process that foul toxic energy anymore. That combined with 17+ years with Alpha-1 Antrypsin Deficiency and my cirrhotic liver, that had been doing its darndest to last as long as possible, said “enough!”
At the end of February my overnight visit to SickKids for dental work and a routine endoscopy turned into almost two weeks of tests and getting me relatively well. My system was tired and not doing its job and needed a boost. After 9+years of relative stability with advanced liver cirrhosis, medically it was now time to be listed for a liver transplant. Can you say holy bleep!
I am joyfully and gratefully the recipient of a badass powerful piece of my live donor’s liver. I am just under 6 weeks post transplant. In the process I have now expertly crushed so many more medical procedures. I will talk more about that body control and success in another future blog. My gracious donor is getting another part son out of the deal, and I get amazing additions to my chosen family. Yes, there will be a future blog about this selfless and heart-centered human. Both the donor and I are doing well.
Post transplant life is no joke. I have a tackle box, literally, full of medication. My my amazing team will will adjust levels and amounts, removing and adding as needed to find my perfect balance. Without going into detail the meds all come with side effects, and my sensitive body has had some issues but nothing we haven’t been able to figure out as a team. We are learning how to distinguish between the autism impulsiveness and the med effects. It is good thing I know my body well, despite my lack of control, as with the right questions I can powerfully articulate my experiences and be a real team captain. I will think of an example to share more in depth about, so that maybe my experience with this can help others (another future blog).
Good to be back sharing again. As you can hopefully hear in my tone, I am not sharing for your pity or for shock value. We have approached this event with good “this is what is so” attitude and faced each new twist and turn with humour, gratitude, and as the opportunity it is for growth. I won’t follow you into dramaland should you go there. I am caring to remain drama free. You may notice that you want to go there as this is a huge serious life changing occurence, however drama is not the energy I have chosen to attach to it. Grace, humour, and gratitude are my choices.
With gratitude for your listening,
Jordyn
Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay to depict finding the perfect balance.
Jordyn's Rocky Journey 