Waves of Friendship

(co-written by Elliot Sylvester and Jordyn)

The best thing in the World is spending time with friends.
Always, with friends, you can totally be yourself.
I believe that the ability to be yourself is one of the greatest gifts.
Choosing friends is easy when they are as cool as Elliot.
Imagine a friend that gets who you really are… that’s Jordyn.
Good buddies that plan on taking over the World with a wave of love – that’s us!

Great friends multiply love when we spend quality time together.
Calling us friends is almost not a sufficient word.
Perhaps a new word sandwich should be created.
Joy-sparks.  Totally appropriate.

We need friendships on a regular basis which is hard to come by.
I believe that Joysparks are what will change the tide of this World from fear to love. 
Who wants to ride the wave of Joysparks with us?
Just imagine a gathering of Joysparks and the difference we could make.
What do you think the ripple effect would be from all those quality Joysparks?
All I know is I am doing all I can to foster more Joysparks, because when you are loved and empowered just the way you are, you fire off more sparks of joy.
The World can use more Joysparks so go forth and multiply by giving some extra love to your friends.

Jordyn and BFF Elliot Sylvester 

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Giving my energy a chance

This past weekend was a big test of my energy reserves.  After a completely busy week we headed to loving Auntie Sarah and Uncle Steve’s place for a big family reunion.

Now, understand that I request individual family visits because a gathering of more than about 4 other people (other than Mom and Dad) is so draining.  Now imaging a group of a dozen excited, and some nervous, gathering for lunch.  Some haven’t seen each other in years, some have never met.

Joy is hanging with family!  However, I could not get my body to stop moving long enough to have more than a couple brief talks with family members.  When I say brief I mean two short sentences.  I got my humorous licks in though.  Mom was an awesome wing woman as I flitted through the house and yard.  I lasted 2.5 hours and then was spent.

As we left Dad there to hang with his family, to go recharge in hopes of coming back in the evening, a school bus filled with the other side of Dad’s family and two more cars arrived.  I pretty much knew then that it was a slim chance I would be able to recharge enough to go back.  Lots of happy energy is just as draining as misery and upset.

Just couldn’t do it.  Made it back for brunch the next day and the bus load and some others had left, so brunch for 20 seemed doable.  I got to talk to a few more people for a little, and they all started heading for home so it was a little easier as numbers dwindled.

Just now recharged enough to write this blog because we have secluded ourselves for a day and a half.  This whole balancing output and recharge time is tricky, but I won’t let it stop me from experiencing life and people I love.

Jordyn

My Beautiful Girl

Graciela

Joyous and Magical
Intelligent beyond categorization
No always fine boy can resist

Hobbit and Friend
Loyal co-creator always
Just always in my heart

Jordyn’s Girl
Humble beyond measure
Totally makes life better

Wonderful and Loving
Intuitive and supportive always
Everyone should listen to her

Hopeful and Persistent
Just get it done kind of girl
I start to fall hard

Love and Boyfriend
Could not be more perfect
Joy is having her in my life

I loved “In Two Worlds”

“In Two Worlds” was written by Ido Kedar.  If you haven’t read “Ido in Autismland” go get that too.

My love of this fictional tale of Anthony and his family comes from how well Ido paints a picture of life as a boy like Anthony.  Just going through the book freed me up to more fully share my own story… stay tuned.

Ido paints a picture so vivid you feel like you are there.  It isn’t all sunshine and roses for Anthony and his family, that’s for sure.  But what shines through is love, and a whole lot of determination in the face of nonsense.

I know a lot of my peers can relate to Anthony’s story.  And their parents, grandparents, and siblings could relate to those characters.  I hope that some of the “professional” characters in the novel are an exaggerated view from what families experience, but sadly I have heard too many real life stories that emulated in these character’s character.

Thanking my lucky stars, and my parents, that I have not had to deal with some of the situations that Anthony did.  I hope less of my peers have to as well.

Go get this well written novel and get into the world of families like ours.

Jordyn

Elusive Dreamland

I am a little bit in a sleep deprived state, despite napping and resting a lot since my dental surgery under general anaesthesia a few weeks ago. I am writing about this not for sympathy, but so hopefully it can support others dealing with sleep issues.

Imagine your body being so darn tired it feels like it is filled with lead.  Now think of what it would take to make that body move to do any mundane task.

As a side note, it is almost a background concern of mine now to be getting dysregulated in public.  It used to very much be in the foreground.  Going out anywhere when in the state of deprived sleep I am in now, is completely draining and I’m not managing to keep my body regulated when I am out.

Imagine swimming through thick soup.  Now think of the effort it would take to get to your destination.

Just giving you those visuals is tiring me out.  Just thinking through this blog is draining.

Just love your kiddo who hasn’t been able to get a good night’s recharge.  I know it means you haven’t either.  My best advice is to remember that they are swimming through thick soup and busting their buns to regulate themselves.

I’ve found that while my body is exhausted my mind is running a mile a minute.  So I have a hyper bunny mind trying to manage a sluggish spasticly behaving body.  At night I can’t calm my mind down to go to sleep properly and end up needing help from Mommy and guided meditations.

Maybe when I am out of this mode, I can explain better.  But for now, that is as good as it gets.

Sleepily,
Jordyn

My “Good Mom” poem

Hope and belief
No stone unturned
Going the distance
Never spurned

Intuitive and fun
Just in my world
Listening carefully
Now no Jordyn world

Justice and humanity
You can be great
Unleashing voices
The can’t wait!

Inspiring and relaxed
On purpose we act
Totally free to be
Let’s make a pact.

Intentional and creative
We go forth
I’m blessed and grateful
For this Badass force.

– Jordyn Pallett’s “Badass Mom” Poem

Have patience please

No amount of prompting can help when I am totally spent.  I just need to recharge and gain control again.

I get it is sometimes hard to know whether my body is reacting to stimulus and we should work through it, or it is time to call it a day (see above).  Sometimes I don’t know myself, until I know.

Making big steps with body control sometimes requires a combination of patience, loving intentional prompting, and definitely grounded teamwork.  Each time I take on a new challenge I must be willing to be gentle with myself, as getting frustrated with myself just compounds my dysregulation.

I wish I could just snap my fingers and be able to learn a new motor pattern, but that is not how my body works.  Fighting that battle is just wasted energy that I could use for good somewhere else.  Better to go with the flow and come back another day when the dysregulation current is slower and I have a chance of swimming against it purposefully than get caught in it and lose control all together.

I share this in hopes of helping others with similar issues with energy as me.  The war is won with smart strategy, not barreling forward half-cocked.  Let’s gain control in a smart, strategic, and balanced fashion.  One where we make small and steady gains, and feel satisfied at every step.  That is a life filled with joy, productivity, and big goals completed.  All of us are so deserving of that.  Bite what you can chew!

Intentionally recharging,
Jordyn

I am one sensitive guy

Being so sensitive can really mess with my productivity.  Like the two hour nap I just took to recover from travelling all day yesterday.  When I say just, I mean between my first and second sentences of this blog post.

I don’t quite know how to explain this to you, but I will give it my best shot.

I guess I could use and analogy, borrowed from my friend Valerie.  Everyone gets a certain number of energy dots a day.  For you, they last you all day and then some.  This is because the amount of dots you need to perform everyday things, like basically anything, is minimal.  But for me, I must take careful inventory and plan my activity accordingly.  Going into a public place like an airport may cost you a couple of dots, but for me it wipes out my cache for the day.

You see, from the auditory and visual over-stimulation to the emotional climate of frenetic travelers, to the energy required to get from point A to point B globally and inside the airports, it takes every dot I have to manage my body to be somewhat together.  I stim a lot while we travel to support myself in blocking out the sensory assault as much as possible.  You would see me drawing and writing on my doodle board, scripting indistinguishable passages from videos, or just plain falling asleep.

Going on trips we bank in a day after we arrive of nothing and a day after we get home of next to nothing.  I’m always a big pile of goo those two days.  Additionally, any big outing should be followed by a day of nothing.  I am a willing fun participant for all outings as long as they are spaced for some energy dot stockpiling.  I love love love adventures.

Loving and ingenious Mommy has deciphered the pattern and every trip we learn something new about how to make the trip more full and productive.

Jordyn

Do you believe in Freedom of Choice?

I am saddened to update you that ASHA has adopted the position statement they asked for feedback regarding.

This is a foggy but necessary time in our road to acceptance and unquestioning belief.  Like many truths that have come to be realized, first they laugh, then they scorn, then they see their error.

Love is the answer, always! PLEASE don’t fill yourself with anger, it never helps anything.

Going the route of derogatory comments and hate, defense and war, quite frankly is what has the World in the state it is right now.  You have the choice in each moment to understand, to inquire, to listen carefully and to find common ground.  We are the change we want to see in the World.

Just be good humans and we will be on the right side of history.

Remember who you are and stay true to yourselves.

Jordyn

 

 

Can we not be silent please?

One thing I have been noticing is how easy it is for parents in group situations to forget to be a Communication Partner for their non-speaker.  Parents get wrapped up in discussing plans for the future or their story of the past and forget to be present in the moment.

A Communication Partner, in my opinion, creates and seeks out opportunities to empower their non-speaker’s voice and intentions.  They are an extension of the non-speaker, not their to hold a board when an opportunity to communicate is presented to them.

My mom is tirelessly ensuring that my intentions are fulfilled in private, and more importantly, when we are in groups of my peers.  She ensures she knows my body management goals and my social goals (who I want to converse with to forward my mission in life).  Getting to all this, while ensuring she takes care of our friends, is a full time job.  I think Mom reached her limit a couple times this month, and is learning boundaries while always expanding her capacity, and never just giving up on who she knows herself to be.  I know I sing her praises often, and that that could be viewed as her influencing as a practitioner, but I believe in expressing gratitude where gratitude is warranted.

Mom has been a champion for full self-expression and powerful communication from long before I was born.  She has empowered more leaders in this world by powerfully listening for what is needed and wanted to fulfill their life’s purpose, than anyone reading this could possibly fathom.  She does this without the need for acknowledgement or accolades, with power, grace, and humility.  She is one no nonsense chick.

But, I digress, and always want people to get her magnificence and how truly gifted she is.  Parents would benefit from watching who she is being and what she is doing.  Plus, benefit from listening to this coaching:  “Be very clear of your, and your non-speaker’s intentions and be straight about whether you will be their parent or their designated Communication Partner at events.  Honour your non-speaker’s intentions and goals.  Be kind and empowering to the voiceless!  Only when given a board and an empowering question can we express ourselves. ”

My mission is to unleash our voices.  Who is with me?

Purposefully passionate,
Jordyn